


Want

by lookcheop



Series: Let’s Fall In Love (KhaiThird) [1]
Category: Thai Actor RPF, offgun, ทฤษฎีจีบเธอ | Theory of Love (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Hurt, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26391502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookcheop/pseuds/lookcheop
Summary: Third thinks after nearly 3 years he should get used to the constant pain in his chest.
Relationships: Khai/Third (Theory of Love), Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Series: Let’s Fall In Love (KhaiThird) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921063
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Want

Third thinks after nearly 3 years he should get used to the constant pain in his chest. 

It hurts to see Khai smile and it hurts to see him cry. How complicated is that? even his own heart is as stupid as he is.

In the span of 3 years he’s gotten to know Khai on every single level possible. 

He’s seen him at his absolute worst, in the mornings nursing a hangover after throwing up the whole night in a dingy club bathroom. Khai wanted to get drunk because Pin dumped him and he’s ‘heartbroken’. Personally Third thinks that he’s just finding an excuse to drink. 

But Third is a good friend, a very good friend who can’t say no to Khai, so of course he says yes. Bur he does pretend that he’s annoyed, somehow he thinks that makes him feel less pathetic about himself. 

He makes sure stay sober the whole night, a good call, he needed that extra bit of sanity that dawn to drag Khai into his dorm. That morning as Third fed another spoonful of plain congee into Khai’s mouth as he whined about his headache and how he lost a shoe that night, he still wanted him. 

When Khai told Third he wouldn’t be able to help him move dorms as promised, Third kept his mouth shut and simply nodded. He lugged all 20 boxes up the stairs himself and only smiled bitterly at his fate. 

If he was shedding some tears while alphabetically sorting out his romance movies collection no one has to know. He convinced himself that it’s okay because this way he knows Khai would never be a good boyfriend, he’s not even a decent friend. 

But that night Khai showed up unapologetically to his new dorm. Talking about how he was so annoyed that Nong Mint made him wait for 2 hours while she got her hair done. 

“Can you believe it? Two, whole hours and I she didn’t even invite me back to her room at the end” Khai rambles.

And Third was so angry, but his deep exhaustion shut his mouth and he just sat and nodded to whatever his friend had to say. That night through the ringing in his ears and the dampness in his eyes he still wanted him.

And then once Third had a fever. Not the regular kind of fever where a good sleep would perk him up, but the kind where it’s been 4 days and he still can’t manage to get out of bed by himself. Two and Bone―being the good friends they are―visited from time to time, bringing food and notes from the classes he’s missed. But Khai, he stayed. He cancelled his date with P’Mai, the prettiest engineering faculty senior, it took him 2 weeks to get her number but 2 seconds to ruin any chances he had with her when he told her he wasn’t going. 

Khai promised third that he would take care of him and he did. He slept on Third’s too small couch, so he won’t disturb Third’s sleep. He also fussed and changed his cold water cloth compress every few hours. On the fourth day a worried Khai drove him to the hospital in Third’s car. He draped his jacket on the shorter’s body and let Third doze off on his shoulder in the waiting room even though his forehead was matted with sweat. 

Third thinks when Khai is sweet like this it’s not good for him. His fluttering heart felt like it was too big for his body and he can feel tears pricking his eyes but he shakes his thoughts n blames it on the fever. But in that moment, when Third couldn’t even tell whether it was morning or night, through his grogginess he realized that he had never wanted Khai more. 

Anyone with a pair of eyes could see how Khai constantly hurts Third. Even though he’s not usually a person that’s a pushover, for him Third takes it all in stride. He tells himself that’s just what friends do in a desperate effort to make everything seem normal, ignoring how the part of his shoulder that Khai touched this morning was still burning. He knows deep down he’d punch Two and Bone and declare their friendship done if they’d ever try to pull even half the stunts Khai has pulled on him. 

Maybe its time for him to stop trying to delude himself into thinking that Khai is on the same level as his other friends. Some days Third can confidently say I’m in love with Khai but on the other days, it just simply hurts. On these days the only way to stop the bile from rising up his throat from his churning stomach is through denial. 

Third thinks that if he looks at himself in the mirror and convinces that person on the glass hard enough eventually the real him would believe it. (he doesn’t)

It’s actually kind of unfair, this whole situation. Third wants to date and fall in love too in university like everyone else. Contrary to popular beliefs he pulls, and both guys and girls. Sometimes he’ll humor himself and go on a date or two with someone he finds good looking enough, maybe take them back to his dorm on the days when an extra pillow can’t fill the empty space on his bed. But he can’t put his heart for anyone else and quickly enough all his more serious dates realized that too. 

His heart is reserved. Reserved for the person currently making out behind a tree with Neen during their group project, thinking he’s being subtle. Third’s heart can’t help but rear it’s ugly green monster, screaming about how that should be him instead. Stupid heart.

Right this second though as Third is sitting next to Khai on the living room floor of his dorm, playing super mario kart, he can’t seem to remember any of that pain. Because moments like this act as the bandages for his wounded heart. Khai laughs shooting a green shell at Third’s direction, Third pretends to scream out in annoyance. He’s not annoyed. He’s very happy in fact because no one else can take away these moments he has with Khai. Where Khai sheds his cool image and walks around in threadbare shorts, laughing with his mouth fully open and there’s still dried drool on his cheek from the nap he took. This is a privilege only Third gets to see, the real Khai. To him it feels like it’s when the world only has them both in it. 

Third wants him so bad. More than anything else in the world. Sometimes he’s scared about the things he’s willing to give up for Khai. But today it’s okay. Third still has the strength to lock up his feelings for one more day, he’ll get through it. He hopes its the same story tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually didn’t like the way this ended and I wished I wrote a happy ending for it but let me know what you guys think? I hope you enjoyed it <3


End file.
